What is Emotional Intelligence?
Emotional intelligence is the ability to identify, understand, manage, and constructively use the emotions of both ourselves and others in a positive way. Becoming more aware of our own emotions, as well as becoming more successful in identifying the emotions of other people, can help us accomplish more in our daily lives.
The use of emotional intelligence in our personal and professional relationships results in more effective communication and a greater ability to manage conflict. This can help us reduce stress and anxiety, get more done in less time, live in accordance with our own values and goals, and enjoy healthier and more satisfying relationships.
According to Harvard theorist Howard Gardner, "Your EQ is the level of your ability to understand other people, what motivates them, and how to work cooperatively with them." SOURCE
Emotional intelligence involves much more than academic intelligence because it has to do with a person's ability to process, control, and regulate their own emotions as well as be aware of and receptive to the emotions of others in an effort to foster positive relationships.
While emotional intelligence may be rooted in family dynamics and communication, its impact goes far beyond intimate relationships. The coping skills that we were supplied with as children by parents and caregivers to help regulate our emotions and be aware of the emotions of other people carry us through the various aspects and phases of our lives.
For example, a child who was taught to become aware of and in control of his or her emotions might, as an adult, be better equipped to handle an emotionally charged situation at work than another person whose parents failed to equip them with emotional intelligence of this kind.
A person who has low emotional intelligence may be unable to control impulses and emotional reactions toward others. This can lead them to high conflict scenarios where their behavior, body language, and the words they express to other people cause rifts in their relationships due to mixed signals, emotional friction, and misunderstandings.
People who lack emotional intelligence often find themselves stuck in phases of their personal development. Examples of this are as such:
They may grow up as "problem children" with a tendency to buck authority and who have trouble advancing to the next phase of maturity and responsibility.
They may tend to become stuck in a negative and self-defeating mindset which prevents them from taking necessary action in their lives.
They may take longer than others to find and commit to a healthy and satisfying romantic relationship because they weren't shown what a healthy relationship based on higher emotional intelligence looks like.
As adults in the professional world, they may be passed over for positions of responsibility both in their social life and their academic or work situation.
They may experience a string of failed relationships that leave them scratching their heads in frustration based on a lack of emotional awareness and understanding.
They may have unpleasant encounters with authority figures who perceive them as a threat based on their actions, words, and body language, which can lack finesse and convey a certain disrespect or disregard for others.
People who have a higher emotional intelligence are able to successfully navigate a variety of interpersonal scenarios, from the ways they function with friends and intimate partners to how they navigate through social and professional scenarios.
Because of their advanced ability to process human emotions, they are able to use the insights gained in other people and their motivations to further their own goals while simultaneously nurturing healthy relationships with their peers and professional associates.
People who have a higher emotional intelligence seem better equipped to navigate the challenges of life, work and relationships. This might include…
Fostering positive communication between family members that ultimately increases understanding, cooperation, and emotional closeness.
Moving forward with developmental milestones and experiencing personal success.
Nurturing healthy and satisfying friendships based in empathy, mutual appreciation, respect, and understanding.
Being granted positions of responsibility due to their ability to communicate, cooperate, compromise, and negotiate with others to the positive agreement of all involved parties.
Enjoying satisfying, committed romantic and intimate relationships based on open communication, emotional trust, consideration, and mutual respect.
Commanding a leadership role based in empathy and emotional insight rather than driven by manipulative tactics.