The Silent Treatment is a Mistake
The silent treatment is a refusal to communicate with someone that wants to communicate. Experts in psychology and marriage therapy often label the silent treatment as a form of emotional abuse, passive-aggressive behavior, and controlling behavior. It’s basically an attempt to get what you want by making the other person miserable. It’s a form of pouting. While this might be an effective way of getting what you want in the short term, it’s very damaging to relationships of all types.
Why is the silent treatment a mistake?
It solves nothing. Refusing to speak to someone hardly resolves the issue at hand. Some silent treatments also include the guise of pretending that nothing is wrong. Even though they act like nothing is wrong, this couldn’t be farther from the truth.
Others resent receiving the silent treatment. Granted, this is the intention of the person giving the silent treatment. However, the resentment between the two people only increases.
It creates additional stress in the relationship. The silent treatment creates stress. How is this a good thing? Relationships don’t do better when the stress level within the relationship increases.
It decreases trust.
When you’re upset, consider these options instead of the silent treatment:
Speak directly to the other person. You can just talk to the other person about the issue you’re having with them. They’ll probably respond, and then you’ll be having a conversation about the issue. If you’re both talking about it, you might even reach some sort of resolution. You can both move forward with your lives.
Write a letter. Some people have a difficult time verbally sharing their feelings. A letter or an email can work just as well as a verbal conversation. The method of communication is secondary to the fact that you’re communicating.
Communicate effectively. Describe the behavior or the situation that is bothering you. Be certain to address the specific behavior, not the person. Attacking the person’s character is a sure way to only escalate the situation.
Be willing to listen. There’s always another side to the story. After you’ve communicated your concerns, it’s your turn to listen.
While the silent treatment can be satisfying, it can also be detrimental to relationships. In the short-term, the silent treatment might get you what you want and leave you feeling smug about the situation. The silent treatment isn’t a good solution. Open and respectful communication is a more effective option every time.